The Sunday Paper

Lena Ortiz paid eleven waiver dollars for a running back on Wednesday. By Sunday evening, he had scored 31.2 points, carried the Touchdown Poets to the week’s highest total and earned the right to choose what everybody watches after dinner.

The 154.3–108.7 final was not close enough to require strategy. It required protective eyewear. Ortiz’s lineup produced six double-digit scorers and never gave The Bye Week a plausible route back into the contest. Her waiver pickup scored twice, caught six passes and made every manager who bid zero dollars suddenly remember that they had “almost put in a claim.”

Cal Brooks received 27.6 from his quarterback and precious little cooperation elsewhere. Two receivers combined for 12.1 points, a number generally associated with one disappointing player rather than an entire department. By the late window, Brooks was not chasing a comeback. He was moving through the stages of grief with admirable pace.

The Poets are now 3–1 and first in total points. Their only loss came by 0.8 in Week 2, which they mention with the frequency and restraint of a man describing the fish that got away.

Ortiz did not discover a sleeper. She filed the paperwork, paid the fee and watched a free agent kick down the front door. The rest of the league can call it luck if that helps. The transaction receipt says otherwise.